My attempt at a comic book

This is a short synopsis and the first two pages of a comic book I'm scripting called "Force." It's formatted kinda odd, so if you have trouble understanding what's going on, let me know.

Force

“Because not every meteor landing, cosmic ray blast or nuclear event happens in the suburbs.”

“Force” is the story of Dey-Lay Simms, a young high school dropout who has been in and out of the system. One day, a small meteor lands in the projects and grants Dey-Lay the ability to create globules of “force” that can absorb impact or explode on contact. Dey-Lay must deal with readjusting to society, other irradiated hood figures and encroaching government interference, all while trying to keep the projects from tearing themselves apart.

Page 1

Wide panel close up of DEY-LAY SIMMS. He stares solemnly out through his mask. His hair a complete mess, and his mouth clenched tight with worry, fear and anger.

CAPTION 1 (IN REFERENCE TO TIME)

NOW.

CAPTION 2

I USED TO WONDER WHY COME WE DIDN’T HAVE NO SUPERHEROES.

CAPTION 3

I MEAN, I KNOW THEY GOT BLACK SUPERHEROES. A BUNCH OF ‘EM, BUT THEY’RE ALL REAL SMART, OR COME FROM MONEY.

2. Wide panel zooms out to show DEY-LAY sitting on a bench between two heavily armed soldiers, dressed in full riot gear. Their faces are covered by large, black helmets. DEY-LAY’S expression hasn’t changed.

CAPTION 1

AND THAT’S COOL. WE’RE ALL REAL APPRECIATIVE TO KNOW THAT YOU DON’T ONLY SEE US AS THUGS AND GANGSTERS, BUT…

CAPTION 2

… BUT, I’D STILL SIT AROUND WISHING THAT ONE DAY AN ALIEN BABY WITH SUPER STRENGTH WOULD CRASH LAND ON MARTIN LUTHER KING DRIVE.

3. Wide panel zooms out further to show that DEY-LAY and company are aboard a military helicopter. We see MIKE MASTERSON, sitting nervously in a corner, about to heave. DORIEN TAYLOR is standing and staring directly at DEY-LAY through expensive sunglasses.

CAPTION 1

WHY COULDN’T A RADIOACTIVE SPIDER HIDE BEHIND THE FLAMING HOTS AT THE CORNER STORE? WHERE WAS THE GOVERNMENT TESTING FACILITIES ON THE SOUTH SIDE?

CAPTION 2

I USED TO WISH THAT SUPER POWERS WOULD COME TO THE GHETTO.

4. Wide panel shot of DEY-LAY, hands on knees, getting ready to stand up. He looks surprisingly calm, as if his whole body has just breathed a sigh of relief. MIKE MASTERSON looks up at him with equal parts dread and confusion. DORIEN TAYLOR adjusts his glasses and one of the armored men has gotten up to open the helicopter door.

DORIEN TAYLOR

WE’RE HERE. FORCE IS UP. GO DO THE HERO THING.

DEY-LAY

BET.

Page 2

1. Full page splash of DEY-LAY standing at the open helicopter door. The wind is rushing around him and he holds on tightly to the sides of the door. Below, the city is in complete chaos. Random fires and other large scale property damage can be seen from the sky. It’s a war-zone.

CAPTION 1

WELL, MY NIGGAS AND NIGGA-ETTES, BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR.